OhOhOhOatmeal Chocolate Chip Cookies

I know for a fact that I don't stand alone when I say that an Oatmeal chocolate chip cookie (occc) is exponentially better than a chocolate chip cookie (ccc). I won't name names, but am happy to be the trojan horse for this weary and insecure group; reluctant to speak out, fearing that our founding principle would offend the holy-grail of American desserts, and by extention the core of the American psyche, leaving us cast as un-patriotic un-American terrorist-sympathizers. Settle down now all of you who are picking up your phone to dial the "If you see something, Say something" number from the subways because its the closest thing to a terrorist-report-contact that you can think of; all we're saying, is that the ccc could be better! It's good, fine, satisfying in its traditional form, but with the simple addition of an "o," of rolled oats specifically, is catapulted to a higher eschelon of chocalety satisfaction.

Rolled oats are oat groats that have been rolled into flat flakes under heavy rollers.* Sounds rough, right? They are, and this rough texture is precisely the characteristic of oats that makes the occc out-of-worldy. It adds a texture, an earthiness, a chew, and crisp that rounds out the ccc so totally.

If none of this is persuasive, let me fall back on a scientific, empirical point in favor of adding oatmeal: Oatmeal lowers cholesterol! And the addition of it makes a nutritionally defunct, unredeemable indulgence healthy. Ahkay? Think Jessica Seinfeld's cookbook "Deceptively Delicious," minus the plagiarism of course.

So I came across this recipe a few months ago and in the several times I've made them since, have only been mighty pleased. You'll notice the "orange" in the title of the recipe- its just zest, but so much more, really. Unfortunately, and I mean unfortunately, I didn't have an orange for this here endeavor. I went forth without it though, and was, predictably, pleased. Sans orange, it calls for:

The rest is simple, mix the wet and dry ingredients separately:

Mix them together and add the chips:

Place at least 1.5 inches apart on a cookie sheet that's either buttered or has parchment paper on it:


And bake:

Now, I dare you, repeat: DARE YOU, to not peel one from the cookie sheet the second your oven mit comes off your hand. I also dare you to tell me you'd rather one without the o.

*Source, wikipedia- the only reliable source of information in 21st century America